Sunday, September 16, 2007

Premarital Jitters

No, I'm not getting married, in case you were curious. I AM taking a course this semester, though, called Pastoral Counseling. One of our books, intended for use in premarital counseling, is called Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start.

It's sort of freaking me out.

Those of you who know me should not be surprised by this admission. So how am I, un-married as I am, supposed to do premarital counseling and say things like premature ejaculation and oral stimulation to the couples I counsel? Ack! I'm not even friends with all the parts of my body; how can I counsel them to be friends with theirs?!

Perhaps they will teach us this in class. Do let's pray...


Matt said... dad has done a lot of premarital counciling before. He requires everyone to do it before they get married. Well...most of the time. :D I don't remember him ever saying anything about giving out sex advice though.

Emily said...

If you can't talk about sex before you get married... then your sex life WHEN you're married may not go as... smoothly - especially thinking about all the pressure there is on your wedding night if you haven't had sex till then.

fun times. lol

Anonymous said...

During our premarital counciling we were given a book "The Act of Marriage" to read and discuss with each other. It helped to not have to discuss some personal things except between us. It did help to discuss these issues before we were married however. Expectations can be damaging if you haven't talked about things in advance especially the way the world has used sex and twisted the way God intends it. If you are putting your spouse's needs above your own - especially in this area - things will go from expectations not being met and lots of anxiety to simply an experience of love and sacrifice given by God for husbands and wives to share with each other. Also, due to the sensitive nature of this topic when communication breaks down, it can lead to misunderstandings that otherwise could have easily been resolved and problems in other areas of your relationship. Marty and I were not given "sex advice" per se but instead given the challenge of showing selflessness and constant communication to help lessen anxiety and possible misunderstandings. Frankly, this topic shouldn't go away after the wedding night but should continue. Things change when you have kids, working longer hours, etc. and thus so does your spouses needs and moods. If you stop talking and practicing putting their needs before your own - it will only lead to trouble. That's just my two cents...well probably a lot more that just two cents but you know me...when I do have time I can be quite long winded. (Hi Emily - miss ya!!)

Anonymous said...

My point was that there are many aspects to this topic that simply physical advice. I hope that came across and don't worry you have plenty to offer for advice and counseling even if you aren't "friends" yet!

Emily said...

Seriously... I'm ready for a new post. :)