Monday, September 13, 2004

My skin is hanging off my bones.

Okay, well maybe not hanging off my bones literally. Lets' just say i'm in an "Egger" Edgar suit. (Men in Black, recently saw it, lol, for the first time) Just returned from WA, and am tired. Loads of fun, and I'm forever grateful that I went, but I'm tired now. Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. I guess you could just call my trip to Washington 'good stress'. My brain ran out of memory and Saturday it just froze. Couldn't sleep, took extra sleep meds (don't worry, it's allowed) and still couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate, breathing was even difficult. It was like this monster anxiety came out of nowhere and said I'M IN CHARGE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. Nothing I did helped, eventually my body just gave in to the drugs. I hate that cuz the anxiety hangs over me like a cloud for the next few days. Sunday was still good but I just didn't have much energy. Still don't. Gonna take it easy...catch up on sleep (had a red-eye flight home last night), just BE, and not try to do anything about it. Trying to white-knuckle my own anxiety usually creates exponential problems. If I just sit back and find my brain something else to do, it kind of fades.

2 comments:

Becky said...

Jenni, did you get the e-mail with the pictures in it?

Emily said...

EGGER. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!! EGGER. It was like he put on this EGGAR Suit. LOL

OK, so you're wiped out and letting your body/brain deal. I'm still really glad you came. And I love the fact that you've learned so much that you're not in the hospital right now. You've grown, chica. You're healing. Love you!